Sunday, February 27, 2011

The Perfect Union of Love

The Perfect Union of Love
            My wife and I got married on May the 27, 2006.  We believed, like most newlywed couples, that despite statistics, our love would never fail.  What we saw unfold in the first three years of our marriage was exceedingly and abundantly above anything we could’ve thought or asked for.  We had discovered how to have a perfect union--- a marriage unlike any union we had ever seen or heard outside of the Bible.
            When I was single and desired to be married, I knew that I did not want a typical marriage, so I studied the word and I believe it revealed to me that my marriage should not be typical.   Rather it should be an example to be taught and followed. Furthermore, I knew in order to successfully accomplish something, you need to have a purpose and a plan, and if there are participants you need to be able to explain to them their part. Now my purpose was to have a marriage and family that would be an example, so when I counsel married couples, engaged couples, or teach singles and teens, I not only wanted to know what I was talking about, but be living a lifestyle that exemplifies my counseling and teaching.
            The plan was revealed to me when I was still single.  It was to believe in The Love, build The Love, and maintain The Love. Now we all are familiar with the bible verse, Ephesians 5:25 which says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”  My question was, how do you do that?  How do you love your wife the way Christ loved the church?  My desire to discover the answer to those questions led me on an intense journey of study, prayer and meditation.  What I believe God revealed to me during that time was not only Ephesians 5 but also John 13:34 and it says, “A new commandment I give you; Love one another. Just as I have loved you, so you must love one another.” Now as a single man I did not believe in exclusive dating.  Furthermore, I believed that you should treat single women like your sister with all purity (I Timothy 5).  I also knew we were supposed to love one another(meaning one believer towards another believer) but I never knew what love one another meant.  In fact, most people love one another according to their interpretation and/or expectation of love, not the way I believe Christ loved the church, or the way he commanded us in John 15:12 saying “My command is this: love one another just as I have loved you.”  Then it was revealed to me, when he commanded us to love one another, he also gave us the “one anothers” to love one another with. He did not say my command is this: “love one another”, which is how most people understand it, but said “love one another just as I have loved you I had never heard anyone explain or teach how to love one another in this way. I believe Christ was not just commanding his followers to treat one another with love but instead treat or love one another with the love he had loved them with. So I looked up the biblical one anothers and began to read and study them. And then it hit me, replace believers towards believers with husband toward wife and vice versa. And at that moment I began to understand love in a way I had never understood it before, and in a way I believe Christ intended for us to understand it. For example: In Colossians 3:9, it said do not lie to one another. And in I Thessalonians 5:13, live in peace with one another. When you replace believer towards believer with husband towards wife it would read:  husband, lie not to your wife or, wife live in peace with your husband. See when you don’t lie and live in peace with your wife you are loving her. When you lie and don’t live in peace with your wife, this is not love but hate. So I did a biblical search of the one anothers, I found that there were about 27.   Six out of the 27 are combined into one verse which equals 33.   And the L.O.A.C (Love One Another Commandments) which are also our wedding vows, are as follows:
1.  Do not lie to one another.  Colossians 3:9
2.  Live in peace with one another.  I Thessalonians 5:13
3.  Be devoted to one another in brotherly love, and
honor one another above yourselves.  Romans 12:10
4.  Bear one another’s burdens.  Galatians 6:2
5.  Be of the same mind with one another in harmony with Christ Jesus.    Romans 15:5
6.  Accept (welcome) one another just as Christ also accepted (welcomed) us.       Romans 15:7
7.  Teach and admonish one another with all wisdom.  Colossians 3:16
8.  Greet one another.  II Corinthians 13:12
9.  Wait for one another.  I Corinthians 11:33
10.  Care for one another.  I Corinthians 12:25
11.  Through love serve one another.  Galatians 5:13
12.  Avoid  perpetually (continuously) snarling and snapping at one another, lest you
destroy one another.  Galatians 5:15
13.  Forbear (tolerate) one another, and forgive one another.  Colossians 3:13
14.  Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.  Ephesians 5:21
15.  Don’t deprive (withhold sex from) one another, except by
agreement for a time.  I Corinthians 7:5
16.   Encourage (exhort) one another and build up (edify) one another.   I Thessalonians 5:11
17.  Don’t ever repay another evil for evil, but always seek opportunities to be kind to one another.         
I Thessalonians 5:15
18.  Clothe yourselves with humility (put away pride) toward one another.  I Peter 5:5
19.  Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another.  James 5:16
20.  Show hospitality to one another without complaining.  I Peter 4:9
21.  Have fellowship with one another.  I John 1:7
22.  Do not slander one another.  James 4:11
23.  Do not provoke one another and envy one another.  Galatians 5:26
24.  Do not complain (hold a grudge) against one another.  James 5:9
25.  Do not judge one another according to appearance. Romans 14:13, John 7:24
26.  With true humility of mind regard one another more important than yourself.                                                   Philippians 2:3
27.  Love one another intensely and with a pure heart.  John 13:34, I Peter 1:22
So on May the 27th, 2006 at around 10 o’ clock in the morning, my wife and I had a wedding ceremony.
            We had about 30 guests that consisted of one minister, 4 parents as guardians, and 24 elders as overseers and everyone else at the wedding was a participant. The 24 elders, and our parents read the commitments to us.  And the minister repeated each commitment in the form of a question that required our response.  And my wife and I committed to God and one another by responding “yes.” For example:
(1)     Elders:   Do not lie to one another.  Colossians 3:9
Minister:  Mike & Tina, do you commit to God and to each other to not lie to one another?
Mike & Tina:  Yes.
(2)     Elders:  Live in peace with one another.  I Thessalonians 5:13
Minister:  Mike & Tina, do you commit to God and to each other to live in peace with one another?
Mike & Tina:  Yes.
(3)     Elders:  Be devoted to one another in brotherly love, and honor one another above yourselves.
Romans 12:10
Minister:  Mike & Tina, do you commit to God and to each other to be devoted to one another in brotherly love, and honor one another above yourselves?
Mike & Tina: Yes.
(4)     Elders:  Bear one another’s burdens. Galatians 6:2
Minister:  Mike & Tina, do you commit to God and to each other to bear one another’s burdens?
Mike & Tina:  Yes.
(5)      Elders:  Be of the same mind with one another in harmony with Christ Jesus.
Romans 15:5
Minister:  Mike & Tina, do you commit to God and to each other to be of the same mind with one another in harmony with Christ Jesus?
Mike & Tina:  Yes.

And when we finished all 27 commitments, at the 27th commitment, it went like this:

(27) Elders: Love one another intensely and with a pure heart.
John 13:34, I Peter 1:22
Minister:  Mike & Tina, do you commit to God and to each other to love one another intensely and with a pure heart?
               
                Elders: The Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous; love does not brag, and is not arrogant. It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it does not keep track of wrongs.  Love takes no pleasure in wrongdoing but joyfully sides with the truth.  Love never stops being patient, never stops believing, never stops hoping, never gives up. 
                                                                      Love never fails!
                                                                        I Corinthians 13:4-8
Mike & Tina:  Yes. We commit to God and to each other to love one another intensely and with a pure heart in Jesus name. Amen.
            Now you know when you cultivate the field, plant the apple seed you must water and nourish it continuously. It would bring forth an apple tree, and the apple tree will produce apples. This is a simple biblical rule of law that we call Seed, Plant, and Harvest, or the law of Sowing and Reaping. On our wedding day we planted the seed of commitments to love one another. We realized in order for us to grow in love towards one another, we must continue to water and nourish this love just as one does to the apple seed. But if you stop watering and nourishing the marriage just like the apple tree it will wither away and die.
            So my wife and I decide on the 27th of every month, we would examine our marriage to see if we still love one another. So we have what we call a monthly evaluation or anniversary. We may sometimes go out to dinner, or a nice quiet dinner at home, and maybe even a small gift. And if it lands on a weekend, which it may do three to four times out of a year, we may travel somewhere or do something a little nicer if we have the time and money. And all of this

is followed with us going through our L.O.A.C.  We would read the first commitment, lie not to one another, and what we are doing is asking each other a question, as well as asking ourselves a question. Did I lie to her or do I believe she lied to me and vice versa. If I did not lie to her or if I believe she did not lie to me, my answer is yes. And if both of our answers were yes we would move on to the second commitment, which means we did not break the first commitment. But if our response is No then we thoroughly, with an open heart of love and forgiveness, discuss the situation. And we do not move on to the next commitment until we have resolved the No. And we continue this process through all 27 of these commitments, and at the end of the 27th one we end by saying I love you and with a kiss.
            See when you thoroughly with an open heart of love and forgiveness discuss a situation less than a month old it is easier to solve it or root it up, compared to one that is one or two years old. But after one or two years of watering and nourishing a seed that brings forth a tree that produce fruit that are not apples but oranges (and you hate oranges).  Then that leaves you with only three options:
1)      Walk away from or divorce the orange tree.

2)      Shake all the oranges off the tree and hope by next season it produces apples, which will never happen.
3)      Cut the tree down, cultivate the land, and begin to plant apple seeds or love.
50% of people walk away from the tree.
30-40% I believe that do not walk away, but shake the oranges from the tree, hoping that it will produce something different (apples) but it never does.                                                                                                                         
Only a few people cut the tree down and start over with different seeds.
            My wife and I recommend another option, a seed that produces fruit that you don’t want, should never be planted in the first place. Knowing that Christ appointed those who love one another to go and produce fruit that will last (John 15:16). Consequently, you eliminate those three options when you commit to this plan.  So we hope that you will begin to plant the L.O.A.C into your marriage.  In addition, water and nourish it during the course of the month by monitoring one another in love. And we believe that this will guarantee that you will produce a perfect union. And don’t forget it’s not the sin or fruit, it’s the love or seed that guarantees.
           


            If you disagree with the information you’ve just read please get in touch with us and let us discuss it. If you agree please share this with others so that we can begin to build the L.O.A.C.  Community.  My wife and I plan to get this method into the hands of every believer and possibly even non believers all over the world.  So if you’re interested in becoming a member of a committee to help us with this plan please let us know. And always remember, “Love never fails.”                                        
                                                                                               Sincerely yours with love & unity,
Mike, Catina, André, and Mikela Burries
P.S
This plan, the L.O.A.C, is also good for singles and raising kids (teens, youth and toddlers). You read it to your toddlers so they can hear it and repeat it, you teach the youth to read it, you teach the teens to study it, and you teach the singles to live it. Our 13 year old son AndrĂ© was born August 14th, he is now starting to study it. And every month on the 14th we examine his commitment to God and his family. And this allows us to identify problem areas before they grow into something more difficult to deal with and it works perfectly. We have absolutely no problems out of our 13 year old son, at least none of the problems that we hear most parents complaining about which are often referred to as  the “terrible teens.” Praise God!  And our two year old Mikela was born July 2nd. And every month on the second we read through the one anothers with her as she repeats them, which allows us to plant these seeds of love in her heart and mind as early as possible. And they are so effective that sometimes she corrects us by stating, (and remember this is from a two year old) “You guys should be nice to one another.”

“…That we love one another. And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commandments…” (2 John 5-6)

Contact Information:
Mike Burries
XXX-XXX-27XX

The Commitment

One to Another Examination

1.  Do not lie to one another. 
2.  Live in peace with one another. 

3.  Be devoted to one another in brotherly love, and
honor one another above yourselves. 

4.  Bear one another’s burdens. 

5.  Be of the same mind with one another in harmony with Christ Jesus.

6.  Accept (welcome) one another just as Christ also accepted (welcomed) us.

7.  Teach and admonish one another with all wisdom. 

8.  Greet one another. 

9.  Wait for one another.

10.  Care for one another. 

11.  Through love serve one another. 

12.  Avoid perpetually (continuously) snarling and snapping at one another, lest you
destroy one another. 

13.  Forbear (tolerate) one another, and forgive one another. 

14.  Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 

15.  Don’t deprive (withhold sex from) one another, except by
agreement for a time. 

16.   Encourage (exhort) one another and build up (edify) one another.

17.  Don’t ever repay another evil for evil, but always seek opportunities to be kind to one another. 

18.  Clothe yourselves with humility (put away pride) toward one another.

19.  Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another. 

20.  Show hospitality to one another without complaining. 

21.  Have fellowship with one another. 

22.  Do not slander one another. 

23.  Do not provoke one another and envy one another. 

24.  Do not complain (hold a grudge) against one another. 

25.  Do not judge one another according to appearance.

26.  With true humility of mind regard one another more important than yourself.                                                      

27.  Love one another intensely and with a pure heart. 


The Love is patient, love is kind.  It is not jealous; love does not brag, and is not arrogant.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it does not keep track of wrongs.  Love takes no pleasure in wrongdoing but joyfully sides with the truth.  Love never stops being patient, never stops believing, never stops hoping, never gives up.

Love never fails!


These are the commandments towards one another